Continuing where 'Luna's Question About Love' left off...
"Derpy!" Luna cried with such desperation that it was almost melodramatic, "Derpy, are you okay? Answer me, Derpy!" She shook the blonde-haired pegasus as hard as she could muster.
Derpy didn't respond. Tears began to well up in the corners of Luna's eyes.
Princess Celestia let out a tiny sigh as she watched the scene continue to unfurl before her. 'I know that my sister has always been a little...anti-social...and maybe even a bit desperate for company, but I really think she could have chosen somepony better to be a potential partner than DERPY.' For the first time in a very long while, the beloved princess of Equestria was beginning to show off a seldom-seen side of herself. She was willing to support her sister all the way, because everypony deserved to be happy, but there was just no way she could bring herself to accept Derpy. It was impossible.
"Derpy! Derpy!" the dark-haired mare howled. Luna was oblivious to everything around her except Derpy's limp form lying before her. It was most likely by sheer luck that the mentally-challenged female pony hadn't been gutted open by the shards of glass from the window she tumbled through. In fact, she looked relatively unscathed; if anything, she had probably just fainted. Luna wasn't aware of this, though.
Celestia stepped over to where Derpy's brown leather mail-sack was lying unattended on the floor. She gently nudged the bag with the tip of her horn. The top flap pulled back to reveal that there was only a single letter inside. Now that Celestia thought more into the matter, it was still too early for the mail-ponies to be out and about with their deliveries just yet. This letter was, in fact, addressed to Princess Luna. It had muffin and heart-shaped stickers placed on the backside of it. Celestia scrunched up her nose in disgust.
'What in bloody Equestria is this? Luna never gets any mail, so this must be from Derpy herself! But, why? Don't tell me that their feelings are actually mutual!'
Celestia looked towards her little sister again, who was no longer screaming or wailing. She was almost ready to crack at any second.
'I can't let those two become a couple...Luna deserves somepony better! I don't care if I have to take back everything I said to her earlier, because that's BEFORE I knew she was attracted to Derpy! I feel a tad reluctant about having to keep secrets to my baby sister, but it's for her own good! Maybe I can introduce her to a few ponies that happen to swing her way...' Celestia, using the magical power embedded within her majestic horn, carefully lifted the letter out of the sack and slipped it underneath her necklace to properly dispose of it later. 'I really wish I wasn't so restricted to talking to myself in my head constantly like this, but I have an image to keep after all...'
Celestia's on-going internal soliloquy and Luna's rapid plunge into absolute despair were both interrupted when Derpy suddenly sprung back onto her feet.
"D-Derpy?" Luna exclaimed in surprise. "You're...you're alright! Oh, thank goodness!" The pony sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye.
"Ah. Hello. Glad to see you're alright." coldly remarked the elder princess.
"Err...ya...huh?" Derpy blinked, her dislocated pupils bouncing up and down, "What the...hey to the who? Where did all of those cute, talking muffins go to?"
Celestia sighed and shook her head.
"Oh, Derpy...I'm so happy you're alright," Luna wanted to just reach out and hug the googly-eyed pony, just because she was so happy that she was okay, but she hesitated. After all, standing right before her at this very moment was the object of her desires and many wet dreams (although she'd never admit it even to herself). She was a very socially awkward pony, an unfortunate result of her thousand-year exile, and she had neglected to study up on how to handle these kinds of encounters. One side of her brain told her to hug Derpy, while the other half told her to back off for now.
"Ehhh?" Derpy gasped as she started to finally recognize her surroundings, "Princess...Luna? What's goin' on? I don't know if my mom would like it that you came into my bedroom like this!"
"You're at my sister's castle, Derpy. You came flying in through the window all of the sudden, don't you remember? I think you wanted to deliver something!"
"I...I went through a window again? So THAT'S why my head hurts so much!" Derpy chuckled.
"Ha ha, I suppose that would explain it, yes." Luna's cheeks flushed brightly as she broke out into a wide grin. She felt like there were butterflies fluttering about all inside her stomach at that moment.
"Wait...a minute! This is the castle of Canterlot, so since you're here...and I'm here...and so is the lemon...hmm...oh, then that means, err, I have something to give you!"
Luna's smile became even wider. "Really? For me?"
"It's a muffin surprise! Really, really bombastic! I made it myself!" Derpy clapped her hooves several times in a row.
"I can hardly wait to see it!"
Ignoring the fact that her ruler Princess Celestia was standing right there, the gray pegasus pony casually trotted over to her mail-bag and peeked her head in. Celestia's eyes narrowed, her menacing glare aimed at Derpy's backside; she wondered just how devastated the mail-pony would be once she finds out her present for Luna had gone missing. When Derpy lifted her head out of the sack, her cheery expression from earlier had disappeared. Her ears folded back against her head, and for the first time, Celestia and Luna saw her frown.
Shaking her head back and forth in disbelief, Derpy began to murmur things under her breath. "It...can't find it...I dunno what happened to it...bad, bad, bad, bad, super-duper bad...I need it...can't say it without it..."
"Derpy? Are you okay?" Luna took a step forward. Derpy gasped and spun around to face the princess. Their eyes met, or at least that was what Luna liked to believe. "Is something the matter?"
"Ohhhhh...!" Derpy was struggling to form the words, but fortunately for her, Luna was probably the most patient pony alive.
"I'm getting worried about you, Derpy; maybe you need to lie down, because of that crash earlier. You don't need to worry about the gift-" Luna started to say, but Derpy interrupted her with an unexpected cry.
"I GOTTA GET THE SEAFOOD...I MEAN, UMM, DR. WHOOVES! I NEED TO SEE DR. WHOOVES! BE BACK BY THE TIME THE BIG BALL OF RICE IN THE SKY STRIKES THE CRACK OF NOON!"
"Wait! Derpy! Please don't go!"
And with that, before Luna could stop her, Derpy went flying out of the broken window at top speed. She was in such a hurry that she had left behind a small puff of dust in her wake. It didn't take long before she disappeared from sight completely. Luna stood there with her mouth agape. Celestia, on the other hand, was quite pleased on how things had turned out.
"Why...why did Derpy just leave like that? And who's Dr. Whooves?" Luna pondered aloud, her heart heavy and her mind boggled.
"Don't worry about her, Luna, she's obviously VERY confused," Celestia spoke up, using one of her wings to gesture Luna to follow her, "I don't think you should worry yourself with someone who can barely make any sense when she speaks, let alone be able to fly without hitting into something. I'm sure it won't take us long to find you a much more suitable partner. Let us take leave, so that the maids can get to work on cleaning up this mess."
"She might come back, though!"
"If she does, then that's good, but for now we should just leave. Understand?"
Luna had always been frightened of her sister, but this was the first time that she really felt so threatened by the tall, imposing pony before her. Celestia may seem like a kind and caring ruler to the ponies of Equestria, but her dark side was becoming more apparent with every passing day. There was no way Luna could stand up to her in her present state of emotion.
Luna sighed, and lowered her head in reluctant defeat. She cast one last glance back at the broken window, and then replied, "...Alright..."
Celestia was convinced that Derpy was a total idiot, but she couldn't relax just yet. She had to make sure that Derpy wouldn't be able to return to the castle, at least not before Luna had met and fallen in love with some other pony instead. It was cruel, but necessary for Luna's happiness. Fortunately, she knew that she could, without a doubt, depend on her faithful student Twilight Sparkle and her little gang of friends to do whatever she asked...